


Trouble Is A Friend Of Mine

by Swing Set in December (swing_set13)



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-03-24
Updated: 2011-03-24
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swing_set13/pseuds/Swing%20Set%20in%20December
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it wasn't bad enough his wife whisked his daughter off to Antarctica, she apparently got the planet in the divorce too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (You've Got) The Magic Touch

**Author's Note:**

> A SGA Fusion AU - otherwise known as Danno's Great Space Adventure.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, this is not a good way to make new friends."

Danny Williams is a reasonable guy. He follows the rules and always looks before leaping. The one time he didn't he ended up in Antarctica. Even after their failed marriage she always comes up on top. Re-marrying some mook in a suit from Colorado. Moving there to be near Gracie was a hardship because it's just mountains. But now he has the pleasure of policing McMurdo since Step-Stan is head of some research gig with the military. The only consolation is that Rachel hates the cold as much as Danny. Small favors are that Gracie loves it.

The town itself isn't really a town. Mostly military grunts that cause trouble on leave and are whisked away before he can read them their rights. He'd be bored to tears if he weren’t spending most of his time trying not to freeze.

But it's the weekend, his turn with Gracie and he thinks a Disney marathon is just what the doctor ordered. He got a text from Rachel that he'll have to pick Gracie up from the base instead of her love nest with Step-Stan. He'd bitch but Gracie loves it up there, they have some sort of science center. One of the doctors, Bergman, does science expos for the army brats and local kids sometimes and they have the best daycare. Grace has charmed just about everyone there.

He gets onto base with minimal hassle, Rachel works there now so most of the security knows him or at least his infamy as being her ex. But Grace's isn't at the daycare. He follows the yelling and where some Army grunt with an aneurysm face is yelling at Step-Stan while Bergman is flailing about. At the center of it all is his little girl holding a glowing rock.

"Danno!" Grace beams.

The yelling stops while everyone in the room looks at him.

"Hey monkey, we talked about wandering off," he says glaring at Step-Stan and gathering his little girl in his arms.

"Williams," begins Step-Stan hesitantly, but Danny doesn't like the way he's looking at his little girl, like the answer to all his problems rolled into a tiny package.

"This discussion is over, involving a civilian child in this mission," starts tall dark and broody, eying Grace like he's not sure how to assess the threat level of a child.

Bergman looks like someone kicked his dog but Danny could care less. Hoisting Grace up on his hip, Danny heads towards the nearest exit. Step-Stan blocks his way.

"Ok, now me and Grace are heading out. Whatever is going on here," he says gesturing at the lab where it looks like the Syfy network threw up, "is done, Gracie give me the glowly-thingy." He begins grabbing at the rock, and where it was a dull glow in Gracie's hand, it lights up like the fourth of July in his.

\---

"That's the guy?" Steve asks as he looks on the other side of the glass to the interrogation room. Dr. Jameson arches her brow at the Lieutenant Commander.

"Apparently he's just what this mission needs," she says dryly.

The man on the other side of the glass has apparently stopped pacing and decided to glare a hole into the glass partition separating him from McGarrett and Jameson.

"If you don't like him, I hear Dr. Bergman is still looking for volunteers for gene therapy," she states breaking him out of his one-on-one starring contest. If he didn't know any better, he'd think the guy was smirking at him for winning.

\---

So far, Danny is hovering on the precipice of being pissed. He was full on angry but it's simmered to being pissed and soon he'll be back down to New Jersey version of cordial if that First Lieutenant gets back with that Kona coffee she promised. Rachel had to eventually come pick up Grace and take her home as he was detained by the US military. It was either he stay or Grace stay and Danny be thrown in the brig for decking Step-Stan. So now it's ass o'clock and he at least has the satisfaction that Rachel is just as pissed at her new husband as he is.

The door opens but it's not the bubbly First Lieutenant but another broody army guy. It's almost as if McMurdo breeds them.

"Aloha, brah," he says as he sits across from him.

"Aloha? Really? Because I've been sitting here for over three hours," snorts Danny crossing his arms.

"A little island hospitality goes a long way," says Mr. Stoic.

"Island hospitality?" Danny tries to veil his sarcasm, he does, it's not his fault he's out of practice and has been without coffee for the past seven hours.

"Antarctica is an island," he deadpans like it's an important tidbit Danny should know.

"Ok Mister..." Danny starts waving his arm across the table.

"Major Chin Ho Kelly of the United States Navy," he prompts with an air Danny could never pull off.

"Right, Major, mind telling me why I'm here or is this a new way for my ex to screw with me?"

"Well, Detective, you have the honor of going above and beyond the call of duty to serve your country," Chin Ho states as he flips open the file folder on the table. "Now I need you to sign some papers."

\---

He never thought he would have to sign that many legal documents in his life. Hell, he got a hand cramp when filing for divorce with Rachel. But that had nothing on the non-disclosure documents that Uncle Sam shoved in his face via Rachel. It was the first time they actually came to an agreement. Though if left in the same room with each other, Rachel would dump on him how her, her precious angel of a girl was in this mess because of his DNA. So the new agreement was, he was going off-planet to prevent Step-Stan and the US government from taking his monkey away. His wife gets the entire planet now.

 _How is this his life?_

Oh, and apparently aliens exist.


	2. Homesick At Space Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So exactly what kind of special training do you guys have to go through to get this sort of mission?"

After a month of the equivalent of basic training in McMurdo, Danny assumes that he's either impressed someone or they are just that desperate. He's banking on the desperation. Bergman has been ambushing him after PT with new age crystals and don't even get him started on the chair. But the rookie grunt that he's been training with reminds him of his first girlfriend, except she was never proficient with explosives and he thanks Saint Michael daily for that or their break-up would have been more rocky than him and Rachel. But keeping that in mind and the fact that she'd off limits since her cousin, Mr. Stoic himself, could kill him with his pinkie, Kono's been a big help at adjusting to the whole welcome to the Army gig.

If it's not training, he's spending all his free time with Grace. If it weren't for the whole leaving the planet behind side of it, the fact that he's got a carte blanche for time with Grace until he ships out is the best news he had since he's landed in this mess. After his last round of push-ups with Kono, she swears he'll be able to do them in his sleep soon, he collapses on the mat. He's looking forward to tonight, him and Grace are making forts and watching Star Trek. He figures he needs a refresher before he goes to another galaxy. Last weekend was Star Wars.

"So that gate thing, what does it feel like?" he asks because he's concerned, not scared but legitimately concerned.

"Hurts like hell, brah," she says, all dimples and smiles, before clapping him on the back.

"You're a real joker, you know that, right?" he says throwing his towel at her as she beelines for the showers, laughing.

\---

He sees Bergman before the doctor does as he exits the locker room, so he hightails it with his gym bag only to crash into Lieutenant Commander Aneurysm Face himself.

"Urgh, what's happened now?" he asks because of the two conversations he's had the pleasure of being in with McGarrett, there is always something wrong.

"I don't follow," McGarrett says and looks visibly pained to be talking to him again.

"Why do you have aneurysm face?" Danny says crossing his arms because he'd rather get this out of the way. The first time he had it, was because Step-Stan was trying to get Grace to go to another galaxy, which, hell no, is not happening, and the second time McGarrett looked that constipated was finding out Danny was going to be going on the now green-lighted mission to another galaxy.

"I don't have aneurysm face," he glares and looks around behind Danny, an easy feat because he towers over. Like a Sasquatch.

"Lieutenant Commander!" calls Bergman from down the hall and McGarrett visibly flinches. "Detective!"

Sharing a look of equal desperation, they both flee down the hall McGarrett came from.

\---

They end up in the elevator, just making it before Bergman could catch up. It'll take sometime before the elevator makes it to the surface of the base. Some how even in Antarctica, the elevator music is the same.

"So, how long have you been in Antarctica?" McGarrett asks like small talk is the only option aside fom rappelling into the elevator shaft.

"None of your business, what are you, Barbara Walters?" Danny replies. The weekend can not get here soon enough.

"It _is_ my business if you are going to be a part of my team," says McGarrett, clearly put out at the lack of participation from Danny's end.

"You are kidding me? Are we really doing the whole "small talk" thing?" He refrains from using air quotes but he's pretty sure that it was implied.

"Enlighten me. As far as I see it, you got no choice, Detective. The brass gave me jurisdiction. You're my partner in maintaining the weapons system and security of Atlantis, allowing the expedition more free range for exploration," McGarrett says with a smirk like he's found the silver lining in being partnered with him, "we're gonna get a long great."

Danny's retort is cut off as his phone buzzes with a combination of screeching violins, violas and cellos. He ignores the call and presses end. Who would have thought he'd get perfect reception in Antarctica.

"I think your marriage didn't end too well," McGarrett says casually.

"No shit, Sherlock. It would have if my ex had not remarried and dragged my daughter to this ice-infested hell hole," Danny sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"You don't like it here?" asks McGarrrett, apparently affronted for the sake of the continent.

"It's one of my _least_ favorite continents."

"I kinda like it here," McGarrett declares starring straight ahead, watching the elevator numbers speed by.

"You _like_ it here?"

No one likes here, if they do they must be suffering from dementia. But then again, these are the same people who chase aliens across galaxies for kicks. Danny huffs out a strangled laugh, it's been a long week. They almost have a pleasant moment of silence until McGarrett breaks it.

"Tell me you can swim."

"Can I swim?" Danny asks. Apparently McGarrett is bad at small talk as he is at standing quietly in an elevator.

"You're not a swimmer," says McGarrett shaking his head like it's a tragedy.

"I swim, I swim for survival, not for fun," Danny defends, he's been jumping through these GI Joes' hoops all month. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"You do know Atlantis is surrounded by water," McGarrett says looking at Danny like he's riding the shortbus.

"What the h-"

"It's not so bad," McGarrett says casually, cutting him off. "I heard the first team had to deal with this city underwater."

Danny is not sure that makes it any better. What is with these people being surrounded by water? He feels the deep urge to deck Step-Stan again or at least Army boy here but his phone rings again.

"What?!" he barks into his phone.

"Danno?" chirps a hesitant voice.

"Hey monkey!" His face lighting up which causes McGarrett's face to shift back into his default setting, aneurysm face.

"Are you mad at me, Daddy?"

"No, no, I thought you were your mom, sweetie," he assures, turning his back to McGarrett to get some semblance of privacy to talk to his daughter.

"Mommy wants me to tell you that we're waiting at the base gatehouse. I can't wait for this weekend!" His girl's voice bubbles back to him, the stress that was building up melts away.

"I'm excited too, I'll be there in five minutes," he says. "Hey, Danno loves you."

"Love you, Danno!"

He hangs up with a smile, pocketing his phone. He loves his baby girl.

"Who's Danno?" McGarrett asks without preamble, still watching the numbers on the elevator.

"Don't," he warns, the less he talks to McGarrett the better.

"What?" says McGarrett innocently.

"Just don't. Let's just not talk."

"You mean right now? Or ever again?"

If Danny didn't know any better, he'd say he was a little put out, thank God the elevator door opens.


	3. Intergalactic Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're in another galaxy. How much more out can you get?"

After meeting General O'Neill, Danny has a better sense that everyone working here is certifiable. Kalakaua is alright but probably because she's young and doesn't know any better. But no one should want to do this. They're a bunch of adrenaline junkies. McGarrett's the worst by far. He's already had his last goodbye with Gracie and his heart is already panging with loss even after McGarrett of all people pulled some strings to get Grace up to the gate room to see her father off. He can see her in the window waving and all it takes is Step-Stan standing in the foreground to strengthen his resolve. Rachel actually looks emotional, which in itself is saying something.

"You ready Danno?" asks McGarrett with that smirk that seemed to ooze the whole 'see how annoying I can be and I know it' vibe. For once, Danny appreciates it because it takes his focus off leaving his daughter behind.

"What did I tell you about talking?"

"That's it a wonder how no one's shot me yet?" McGarrett says.

"There's that, but mostly, don't."

"Come on Williams, you're about to go to another galaxy. People would kill for that." Danny winces, it actually looks like McGarrett is trying to be consoling.

Danny would have settled for the world that surrounds his baby girl.

"Come on, ladies," says Kelly who just walks through the gate without a backwards glance.

\---

McGarrett decides to pick him up from his quarters since he thinks Danny will fall into the ocean.

"What are you wearing?"

McGarrett's eyes have become squinty. Danny looks down at his dress shirt, the tie his daughter gave him, his slacks and black boots.

"It's called clothes, McGarrett," he replies, giving his partner a glare. He's seen half the scientists here wearing anything from a knitted poncho to printed t-shirts under their lab coats.

"A tie?" McGarrett levels his tie like it kicked his puppy.

"It's called dressing like a professional."

"You don't look like part of this expedition."

"Oh, you mean that I'm not wearing some boob holster and army fatigues?"

"I am not wearing a boob holster!" McGarrett says hotly. "You look like you're a civilian."

"Maybe I want to look like a civilian, ever thought of that?"

McGarrett's retort is lost on him as he stalks away.

"Where are you going?" calls Danny with a smirk. "The dining hall is that way."

Steve sharply turns the other way.

\---

Danny has reassessed his initial view of aliens. He frankly doesn't see the difference. He's met Teyla and Ronon, a guy that could give McGarrett a run for his money for Sasquatch of the year and they're more down to Earth than some of the scientists running this floating base, like McKay.

"Oh, another human light switch," says McKay. "Finally."

Danny was ditched McGarrett after breakfast, apparently he needed to hang out with his Air Force twin, who's twice as cheerful and equally as gun crazy - and runs this floating disaster. Working with McKay, he gets a better feel for the weapons system. The weapons console practically vibrates with light when he runs a simulation.

"Just great, the city's already in love with you," grumbled McKay before showing him how to monitor the life support system. But Danny forgives him, he's Canadian and has a secret stash of coffee.


	4. When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, this is either the most elaborate practical joke of all time, or I'm in serious trouble here."

Evan Lorne is a stand-up guy. He reminds Danny of his old partner back in Jersey. He has no trouble calling bullshit but still gets the job done. Danny respects that level of professionalism. Plus, he's the sanest person on this floating death trap. He was originally met Lorne through Sheppard who went on about Ferris wheels and how the best ones where in _New York_ and then finally introduced his 2IC.

Lorne has gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to explaining the ins and outs of Stargate protocol, because there is no way half of what McGarrett does is legal. New galaxy or not.

He'll usually try to meet up with Lorne for PT and sometimes lunch but he keeps it to a minimum since McGarrett starts spouting off about team unity if he bails too much on hanging with him, Chin and Kono.

Danny suspiciously thinks it has everything to do with the fact that Lorne is in the Air Force and not the _Army_.

So weapons inventory has become therapeutic. Lorne will rag about Sheppard and another gate SNAFU involving amorous locals and listen to Danny bitch about how McGarrett flooded the Eastern storage hanger because he didn't believe Danny could swim.

"You know," Danny says, gesturing with a magazine towards the shelf he's just finished. "This isn't as strange as you led me to believe."

"How do you figure?" grins Lorne from the other side of the shelf.

"Aliens," Danny says. "It's anti-climatic. I was expecting little green men. Athosians, they're pretty stand-up folks. Friendly, even."

"Give it time, you've just been on milk runs," shoots back Lorne, dumping empty clips into a bin.

"I feel like you're mocking me."

"Can't have that," Lorne says with a shit eating grin. "Let's finish this up quick. Radek said he'd share some of his chocolate stash."

And McGarrett doesn't understand why he actually volunteers for inventory.

\---

Danny has a jump to his step and a smile as he makes his way to the dinning hall. With the help of Lorne, he has the next security rotation ingrained into his head and has met the newest Athosian recruits that are helping with the security detail.

Life is good.

The only thing that could make it better is Gracie. Dr. Keller has already promised him some double sided tape so he can proudly display his girl's art work that was sent over in the last Daedalus run on the barren walls of his room.

So it catches him completely off guard when McGarrett appears out of nowhere on his left.

"Jesus Christ, what are you, a ninja?" he shouts in surprise.

"I'll take that as a compliment," McGarrett deadpans. "Where have you been? Are you wearing a tie?"

He's got that constipated look on his face again.

"Yes, I _am_. You, my friend, care way too much on what I am wearing. Even Rachel didn't care this much. And we were married for _ten_ years."

"I will pay you a month's wages just to lose that somewhere and never be found," counters McGarrett.

"Was there a reason that you chose to grace me with your presence, aside from my wardrobe?"

"I was looking for you to run down the next security rotation."

McGarrett's eyes shift evasively.

"Already did it with Evan," Danny replies. It went faster than expected since he wasn't arguing half the time with McGarrett about the MREs and what the Athosians pass off as coffee.

"With Major Lorne," McGarrett says, his face looks pinched.

Danny shoots him a funny look.

"Saves us from working on it tonight," he says, he'd think McGarrett would appreciate not spending the whole night with him drinking shitty coffee and swapping MREs. "I'll actually get those full eight hours Keller has been hassling me on."

"Yeah," McGarrett says, stretching out the word.

He actually looks put out. Danny shrugs it out. Weird guy.

"Come on, Kono said something about beating Chin with sticks."


End file.
